The Enneagram Type 2 Woman

As a woman, do you view yourself as kind, caring, loving, and giving? Do you tend to have difficulty saying NO and as a result put your needs last? If so, you may identify as the Enneagram Type 2 Woman who also can be referred to as the Helper.

The Core of The Enneagram Type 2 Woman

The Enneagram Type 2 woman is loving, kind, generous, and empathetic. Relationship orientated, she reaches out to others and is often the first one to lend a hand. The Enneagram Type 2 woman is a good listener and focuses on the needs and concerns of others. This makes her a cherished friend, partner, and confidant.

What Gratifies the Enneagram Type 2 Woman

The Helper finds it gratifying to be of service. Always ready to be helpful, others tend to depend on Enneagram Type 2. This type of woman has innate people skills and values interpersonal relationships above all else. The extraordinary insight she has into what people need is a rare gift. Primarily she loves to be instrumental in helping others achieve their full potential and to feel good about themselves.

Behaviors and Beliefs That Prevents Personal Growth
An underlying fear of the Helper is that she is not lovable unless she is doing something to earn others’ love. This makes it hard for the Helper to say No and decline requests which can lead to physical burnout, emotional exhaustion, and repressed resentment which eventually can erupt in angry outbursts.

Although the Enneagram Type 2 woman may feel virtuous because of her selflessness she tends to ignore her own needs and thrives on the need to be needed. Engaging in this behavior can be detrimental to Type 2’s personal growth, preventing her from developing a more expansive sense of self.

Gaining a Deeper Understanding of Enneagram 2 Through Childhood Patterns

Enneagram scholars, Don Risso and Russ Hudson and authors of The Wisdom of the Enneagram,speculate that Twos came to believe that the way to be loved was to repress their own needs and to attend to the needs of others. They do this in an effort to be loved and wanted.

This belief was fostered by a number of factors. Some Twos were reared in households were attending to their own needs was viewed as a form of selfishness. In some cases, they may have had a mother who was emotionally unavailable, so they began trying to earn their mother’s love and continue to act out this pattern with others. Furthermore, if Twos received positive reinforcement and love when they were helpful, nurturing, and attentive to others’ needs they internalize the belief that they must be this way to be worthy of love and acceptance.

The Voice of Enneagram Type 2’s Inner Critic

Over time, the internalized belief of Type 2 becomes the voice of the Inner Critic. It drives behaviors and thought patterns that align with the notion I am not lovable or worthy unless I am doing for others. The Inner Critic then urges Type 2 to constantly prioritize others’ needs over their own and convinces them they are selfish if they don’t.

How to Thrive as an Enneagram Type 2 Woman
1.Practice Self-Love and Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness, love and understanding that you offer others. Acknowledge your own needs and give yourself permission to prioritize them.
2.Set Healthy Boundaries: Understand that it’s okay to say no. Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining your well-being and ensuring you have the energy to support others when truly needed.
3.Seek Balance: Strive for a balance between giving and receiving. Allow yourself to accept help and support from others, recognizing that relationships are reciprocal.
4.Engage in Self-Discovery: Explore your passions and interests outside of helping others. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Now that you have an overview of the Enneagram Type 2 woman, I invite you to take the RHETI personality assessment developed by Don Risso and Russ Hudson in 1991 to determine if this is your dominant personality type. While other Enneagram assessments are available, the RHETI’s widespread use and recognition make it one of the leading tools for understanding the Enneagram personality system.

________________________________________