Every one of us is shadowed by an illusory person; a false self.
~ Thomas Merton
Although you may not be aware of it you could be taking on a false persona of yourself on a daily basis. If you grew up in a family that didn’t place value on your essential qualities most likely a false self was formed in order to be accepted and loved.
You learned to live by the shoulds of who you should be. Because you didn’t feel safe opening up as to who you truly were, you’ve learned to live a sort of emotional lie… staying safe and “looking good” become of paramount importance. For the most part, this occurred at the subconscious level.
The false self is there to hide, ward off or cope with unfelt, unacknowledged pain and when you challenge the behavior, whether it is perfectionism, people-pleasing, excessive joking, chronic cuteness, or intellectual superiority, you’ll begin your transformation.
Reconnecting to Your Authentic Self and Living a Fulfilling Life
Begin to quiet the monkey mind by engaging in contemplative practices such as; meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer, and then ask yourself these thought-provoking questions to connect to your authentic self.
1. Am I forcing myself to be who others want me to be?
2. Do these standards reflect how I want to live my life?
3. What are my core values?
4. Am I fulfilling them or repressing them because they don’t fit into who I think I should be?
5. Do I feel a connection to my life’s purpose?
6. Do I display inner peace, joy, and contentment?
7. Am I following my heart’s desires or settling for a safe life?
8. When I wake up each morning do I put on my suit of armor to get through the day?
Reaping the Benefits of Your Connection to Self
Roxanne Howe Murphy, Ed.D, founder of the Deep Coaching Institute so eloquently illustrates the benefits of reconnecting to your authentic self. She states,
“When we are at the highest level of our personality type, we are close to our most authentic nature. We experience lightness in ourselves and in an entirely different place than when our personality is constricted. It’s as if there’s a large clear window and we experience the beauty warmth and embrace of the sun. Each time we drop down a level in our personality, it is as if a translucent curtain falls between us and the sunshine. (our lighter nature) that it is difficult to see anything but a murkiness or darkness. Conversely, the spiraling movement upward is life lifting curtains, one at a time to reveal more light, our authentic self”.
Connect with your authentic self and live life to the fullest!