“Our lives are a series of births and deaths; we die to one period and must be born to another.”
It seems to have happened overnight, midlife has crept up on you. Your youth is now a faded memory. In order to move forward in this next period in your life, some of your old ways have to die off to leave room for the new ways to emerge. During this process, you may feel out of kilter like a ship without a sail. Be assured that these feelings are part of the process associated with midlife transition. Instead of running from the inner turbulence, it is important for you to begin to embrace it. You can do so by quieting your mind and asking yourself some tough questions.
Questions for Midlife Transition
- What is no longer working in my life?
- What values are no longer serving me?
- What will my life look like five years from now if I do not begin to make the
necessary changes? (Visualize how you will look and feel)
- What steps do I need to take to move forward in life?
As you begin to answer these questions, you will enter different phases of your midlife transition.
Phases of Midlife
Stuck in the Muck
If you are stuck in the phase, most likely you are not happy with the life that you are leading. Your motivation decreases, you may feel fatigued, negativism increases and the very activities that once fulfilled you no longer give you joy. You have two choices during this phase: 1) improve upon your current life or 2) end this chapter of your life and begin a transition to a new phase of life.
You may choose to improve your current chapter in your life by making internal and external changes. Some of the changes you could make are: moving to a new location, changing jobs, making new friends, reading self help books, and seeking therapy or having a cosmetic makeover. By making these changes, you may feel rejuvenated. If the makeover does not produce these qualities and leaves you feeling disappointed and discouraged you will begin to move into the next phase of your transition.
In this phase, you detach from what is no longer working in your life and take emotional time out to heal, reflect and discover new directions for their life. You’ll find yourself becoming quieter, withdrawn, emotional and questioning your current values. This phase enables you to get in touch with your authentic self. In order to do this you may seek therapy, connect with your spiritual nature, join self-help groups, attend personal growth seminars, and read informational books. It is important to resist the temptation to stay so busy that you can’t focus inward and tap into to the answers that lay within.
If you spend the necessary time renewing yourself and identifying core values, desires, and your life’s purpose you will break out of the hibernation phase and soar into midlife. During this phase, you’ll feel confident, creative and optimistic. Most likely, you’ll be eager to explore new skill sets and ways of thinking. This is a stage of trying out new roles and blossoming into the woman you were created to be.
Awaken to the forces that are calling you to embrace your midlife transition. It is an opportunity to redirect your life and live with purpose and passion.